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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach City Council Candidate Reveals Shocking DNA Test Results

October 23, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local city council candidate Mr. Harder decided to take a DNA test this week after being called a “Lutheran” by one of his political rivals. The rival, Mr. Dyck, said he would donate […]

The Daily Bonnet

New TV Show ‘Cash Buggy’ Offers Riders a Chance to Win Money While on the Way to Church

October 20, 2018 Andrew

ST. JACOBS, ON A new spin-off of the popular TV show ‘Cash Cab’ offers conservative Mennonites and Amish the chance to answer a few trivia questions and win a bit of money on their way […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Acting like an idiot’: Mennonite Driver Clocked at Just 2.32 km/hr on Trans-Canada Highway

October 19, 2018 Andrew

THOMSON STATION, NS According to CBC News, a Mennonite driver vacationing in Nova Scotia this summer, was allegedly caught driving at over 2 km/h on the Trans-Canada Highway this week. “This is the fastest speed […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Naps Right Through Faspa

October 16, 2018 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB Local man, Lyle Braun, 37, was so tuckered out after a long week at work that he slept right through faspa on Sunday. By the time he woke up his wife Anne […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Confuses Genealogy Website for Dating App

October 8, 2018 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB Aghast at the prices of more famous ancestry websites, local woman Amy Penner decided to subscribe to Grandma’s Window, a much more affordable website dedicated exclusively to Russian Mennonite genealogy. The problem […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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