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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

How to Sneak Snacks into the Movie Theatre: A Guide for Cheap Mennonites

March 19, 2019 Andrew

Whether it’s a rock concert, sporting event, or the latest blockbuster movie, oba, those snacks can be expensive! I mean who is really paying $15 for a Bud Light at a Jets game or $25 […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Creates ’50 Shades of Grey’-Inspired Pleasure Room

March 18, 2019 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON This past winter, Mr. Schneider of Waterloo, Ontario has been working day and night on his “pleasure room,” an area of the church basement that he hopes will bring hours of satisfaction to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Ten Extremely Menno Texts My Wife Has Sent Me (This is real!)

March 12, 2019 Andrew

Oba, so sometimes when you live in Steinbach you don’t even realized how Menno your life is. It all just seems normal until you stop and take a closer look. Take, for example, these texts […]

The Daily Bonnet

Manitoba’s Most Progressive Mennonite Man Moves His Clock Forward an Hour

March 10, 2019 Andrew

REINHOF, MB A man from the small hamlet of Reinhof is being hailed as a “free-thinking radical” after moving his clock forward an hour last night. “What can I say,” said Mr. Reimer. “I’ve always […]

The Daily Bonnet

98% of Mennos Still Using a Landline

March 3, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A new survey conducted in the lobby of the MBEM Church in Winkler reveals that a full 98% of Mennonites still rely on their landline telephone to communicate with the outside world. “Ach, […]

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