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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Sews World’s Largest Rag Rug

May 5, 2019 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, MB Working at a feverish pace while her husband Norm watched Jets games this winter, Mrs. Edna Dueck of Blumenhof is on pace to create the world’s largest rag rug by the end of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Hasn’t Used Her Wedding China in Over Forty Years

May 4, 2019 Andrew

AYLMER, ON In a heartfelt confession during church prayer time this week, Mrs. Froese, 65, of Aylmer confessed that she hadn’t used her wedding china in nearly four decades. “It’s just sat in my china […]

The Daily Bonnet

Net Worth of All Your Favourite Mennonite Celebrities

May 3, 2019 Andrew

If you’ve Google a favourite celebrity in the last few years, you’ve probably noticed that one of the first things to pop up is their estimated net worth. Never wanting to pass up the opportunity […]

The Daily Bonnet

Dating Mennonite Couple Solidify Relationship By Sharing Co-op Number

April 28, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Corny Wall of Winkler shared with Co-op number with his girlfriend Aganetha this week, a gesture that has sent rumours through the community. “I wouldn’t be surprised if one of these Sunday’s after […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man is Expanding Faster and is a Billion Years Younger than Previously Thought

April 27, 2019 Andrew

DALMENY, SK Scientists at the University of Dalmeny have discovered new evidence that suggests that Elder Voth is between 12.5 billion and 13 billion years old, rather than 13.6 billion as previously thought. “We’ve also […]

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