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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

New York Girl Longs for a Life in Steinbach

June 18, 2019 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY 16-year-old Nicole, who has lived her entire life in the bustling heart of East Village in Manhattan, recently heard about this small town called Steinbach, which immediately spurred her imagination. “Sometimes I […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Man Insists on Placing Lawn Chair in Front Yard

June 17, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local man Jakob Kornelsen, 43, thought it was a fabulously grand idea to put his brand new cheap ass lawn chair in the front yard where he could watch the neighbours. “I knack […]

The Daily Bonnet

Choking Mennonite Man Saved by the Heinrichs Maneuver

June 15, 2019 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN Local man, Mr. Wiebe fe’schuckled himself on a watermelon seed at the church picnic this weekend, but thanks to some quick thinking by one of the Heinrichs boys, he was saved. “I […]

The Daily Bonnet

There’s No Reimer Friesen for Mennonite Man’s Actions

June 13, 2019 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mr. Dueck was behaving very strangely during faspa on Sunday afternoon. His behaviour was so unusual, in fact, that other guests said there was absolutely no Reimer Friesen for it. “I get it, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Gets Suckered Into Attending Wedding Shower

June 12, 2019 Andrew

TABER, AB Peter Toews, 25, of Taber was ready to spend his Sunday afternoon playing fastball and drinking lite beer with his cousins, but at the last minute he was informed by his wife of […]

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