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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Patiently Waits Six Months for Wife Outside Changing Room

April 6, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB For the past six months, Mr. Klassen has been sitting patiently on a chair outside the changing room at the Bay downtown waiting for his wife Edna to finish trying on a few […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mrs. Reimer Still Refers to Mrs. Ens as a “Russlander”

April 5, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Even though their families came from the exact same colonies in Russia, for some reason the Mennonites who arrived in Canada a few decades earlier referred to the newcomers in the 1920s as […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Flock to Landfill to Get their Hands on Some Free Mattresses

March 31, 2019 Andrew

BLUMENBACH, MB Ever since the Blumenbach Landfill announced that they would now be accepting mattresses, Mennonites across the region have been flocking to the site to both discard and acquire these precious items. “Once you […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Awarded Ph.D. in Basket Weaving

March 30, 2019 Andrew

SHARTFIELD, SK While Shartfield Mennonite Bible School has been offering diplomas in basket weaving for decades, Mr. Peter Wiebe has become the first ever to make it all the way to Ph.D. status. “Oba, my […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Translates Low German Joke for Englishers, No One Laughs

March 26, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB An audience of Englishers from the city was left completely baffled by the Plautdietsch jokes at a local soup and pie fundraiser this past week. Even when translated, the jokes just didn’t seem […]

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