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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

“I’ll be there for sex”: Mennonite Man’s Text Gives the Wrong Impression

May 22, 2019 Andrew

VANKLA, MB Local man Corny Klassen, 63, texted his friend Abe explaining that he’d be at his house for six o’clock to pick up the chickens. Unfortunately, Abe got the wrong impression from the message. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Scrapbooker Documents Literally Every Second of Family’s Life For the Past Two Decades

May 18, 2019 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Mrs. Thiessen, 47, of Saskatoon has been meticulously scrapbooking her family’s life ever since her marriage to Dave at the Mennonite church back in the summer of ’99. “Here’s a page dedicated to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Ten Ways that Mennonites are ‘Greener’ than You Are

May 17, 2019 Andrew

The Mennonites are known for many things: quaint lifestyles, hearty cooking, and funny accents. However, did you know that Mennonites are also among the most environmentally-conscious people out there? Certainly far “greener” than most Englishers […]

The Daily Bonnet

Someone Put the Girl Filter on Famous Mennonites….

May 15, 2019 Andrew

Ever wondered what Menno Simons would look like as a woman? Well, you have to wonder no more. Thanks to Snapchat’s ridiculous new filter, you can find out what anyone would look like with, ugh, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Cousin Peter Friesen Gets Really Into Punk Rock

May 14, 2019 Andrew

LANDMARK, MB After experimenting with EDM for the past decade, cousin Peter Friesen has recently become “totally stoked” about Landmark’s burgeoning punk rock scene over the past six months. “This place is the new Seattle,” […]

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