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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Man With Obscure Mennonite Surname Feeling Totally Left Out

December 13, 2019 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Local man Henry Mierau is sick and tired of all the attention given to “mainstream” Mennos like the Reimers and Penners and is demanding that the Mieraus be given their space on […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Becomes First to Reach the Summit of Abe’s Hill

December 10, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local man Richard Loeppky, with the assistance of his schekjbenjel Pieta, planted a flag at the top of southern Manitoba’s highest peak, Abe’s Hill, this week. It was the first time the peak […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Claims to be Man to Get Cheaper Haircut

December 5, 2019 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Taunte Lina waltzed into her local Snips ‘n Go salon this past Tuesday for her weekly haircut, only this time things were a little different when she went to the till to pay. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Open Casting Call in Winkler for New ‘Planet of the Abes’ Movie

December 3, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Abes across the Pembina Valley will be flocking to the parking lot at the EMBCC church this weekend to have a chance to take part in the new ‘Planet of the Abes’ movie. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Yoder Shortage Leads to Unrest in Lancaster County

November 29, 2019 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA A late summer drought this year has led to a dramatic shortage of Yoders this harvest season and civil unrest in Lancaster County. “I don’t like to say anything negative, but those Yoders […]

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