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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Finally Has Something to be Truly ‘Holier Than Thou’ About

January 2, 2020 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA After years of smugly pointing out the sins of others in the church lobby and in local coffee shops, self-proclaimed near-sinless holy man Mr. Zook of Lancaster has finally discovered something to truly […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top Ten Mennonite Movies of 2019

December 29, 2019 Andrew

2019 was quite the year for Mennonite film, smashing box office records and garnering praise from both fans and critics alike. Without further ado, here are the top ten Mennonite films of 2019. 10. How […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman to Smother Relatives with Wet Kisses at this Afternoon’s Gathering

December 26, 2019 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC Mrs. Penner, 71, plans to slobber all over each and every member of the Penner family at the gathering in the basement of the MB church in Chilliwack this afternoon. “Watch out, Penners, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman to Play Evie’s ‘Come On, Ring Those Bells’ All Day Today

December 23, 2019 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Mrs. Bergmann of Blumenort plans to play Evie’s ‘Come On, Ring Those Bells’ non-stop for the next 48 to 76 hours. “I’ve still got the LP I bought when I was in high […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Absolutely Loves Their Brand New ‘EMC Sierra’ Truck

December 18, 2019 Andrew

RIDGEWOOD, MB When the Duecks of Steinbach were in the market for a new vehicle that could transport their growing family, they test drove a lot of trucks, but ultimately could not resist getting into […]

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