The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

Brought to you by:

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Town Holds Massive Parade to Honour Local Man Who Did the Dishes

May 29, 2020 Andrew

REINLAND, MB Local man Timothy Toews, 36, decided he’d try to earn himself a few minutes of meddachschlop this week and hand-wash a beer glass he’d used earlier in the afternoon. When his wife Amanda got home, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man’s Car Spotted in Liquor Store Parking Lot

May 27, 2020 Andrew

MORDEN, MB There’s a reason why Mennonites drive nondescript vehicles – so they don’t get identified in the liquor store parking lot. Well, obviously Mr. Wiens did not consider all the implications of his decision […]

The Daily Bonnet

NASA Report: Mennonites Live in Parallel Universe Where Time Runs Backwards

May 23, 2020 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Observations into deep space have recently uncovered strong evidence that Mennonites are all living in a parallel universe where time runs backwards. “According to our studies, it seems that the Big Bang created […]

The Daily Bonnet

New Crowd Limits Still Not Big Enough to Accommodate the Klassens

May 20, 2020 Andrew

GRETNA, MB After very few new cases in the past week, the Manitoba government has decided to ease the limits on public gatherings. Starting Friday, Manitobans, other than the fertile Klassen family, will be allowed […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Severely Injures Knipsing Finger

May 17, 2020 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON The global crokinole community was in shock this week after star flicker Mr. Funk went down with an injury to his knipsing finger. “The crokinole world has never seen anything like this, especially […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 127 128 129 … 263 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • United States Signs $110 Billion Weapons Deal with Random Guy on eBay
    May 25, 2017
  • Mennonite Church Bans TikTok From All Devices … But Only the Dancing Videos
    March 3, 2023
  • Mennonite Man is Expanding Faster and is a Billion Years Younger than Previously Thought
    April 27, 2019
  • Facebook Debate About ‘Eternal Security’ Results in the Condemnation of Millions
    April 19, 2019
  • Dustin Byfuglien Retires from NHL to Work on Mennonite Farm
    October 25, 2019

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved