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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Excited as Halloween is Cancelled this Year

October 31, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Thousands of Mennonites across North America have been spared the trauma of having to witness like Timmy in a cowboy outfit or little Sarah all dressed up as Wonder Woman. “Halloween cancelled? Well, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Doctor Shortage Finally Solved as Thousands of Medical Experts Appear Online

October 30, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The doctor shortage in southern Manitoba has finally been solved as thousands of people in the area are now apparently fully-fledged medical experts. “We’ve seen a huge surge in medical expertise, not just […]

The Daily Bonnet

GCers Feeling Left Out of ‘Restart Mennonite Brethren’ Campaign

October 28, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Thousands of Mennonite Church Canada members across Manitoba are a little miffed at the provincial government for seemingly giving all their time and resources to restarting the Mennonite Brethrens. “If you ask me, […]

The Daily Bonnet

“I am Mennonite,” Borat Reveals in New Film

October 27, 2020 Andrew

KARAGANDA, KAZAKHSTAN A whole host of awkward and peculiar behaviour by renowned journalist Borat finally has an explanation that makes sense. Borat, apparently, is a Mennonite. “I am Mennonite. Very nice,” says Borat in the […]

The Daily Bonnet

“Where the heck can I buy ‘Once Removed’?” says Mennonite Man Who Fails to Find it for Ten Cents at the Thrift Store

October 26, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB More than a month after Daily Bonnet author Andrew Unger released his hilarious new novel Once Removed, Mr. Penner of Steinbach still has not been able to find it for ten cents at any […]

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