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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Puts Her Name on Margarine Container to Make Sure She Gets it Back

July 13, 2021 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB After having experienced a number of traumatic situations where she didn’t get her used margarine containers back, Mrs. Penner of Grunthal made sure to carefully write her name on each and every container […]

Unger & Thirst

Entire Package of Saltines Needed to Stomach Mrs. Epp’s Somma Borscht

July 6, 2021 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Mr. Penner cruised through an entire package of Premium Plus crackers at the soup and pie fundraiser this week, all in a failed attempt to stomach Mrs. Epp’s dreadful somma borscht. “I […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Cooks His Wieners a Perfect Medium Rare

July 4, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local gourmet Isaac Unrau of Winnipeg has mastered the art of cooking wieners to that perfect medium rare that everyone enjoys. “I cook my wieners to order,” said Unrau, tending to his Canadian […]

Unger & Thirst

New Abbotsford AHL Team to Be Named the Knackzoats

June 30, 2021 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC With the announcement this week that the Vancouver Canucks AHL affiliate is moving to Abbotsford, the choice of names was an easy decision for the team. “We’ve got the Vancouver Canucks and dan […]

Unger & Thirst

Potluck Goers Prefer Mrs. Loewen’s Taco Salad to Mrs. Dueck’s

June 20, 2021 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON The evidence was clear: Mrs. Loewen’s taco salad is the taco salad of choice at Leamington EMBMBC church. After a recent potluck, Mrs. Dueck’s taco salad was left half-eaten while Mrs. Loewen’s was […]

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