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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Celebrities Featured on New YouTube Series ‘Bland Ones’

September 19, 2021 Andrew

AKRON, PA After failing to convince any famous Mennos to be a guest on the popular show Hot Ones, a new YouTube series is aiming to be more fitting for the palate of Mennonite celebrities. […]

Unger & Thirst

O’Toole Offers Mennonites Half Off at Chicken Chef

September 11, 2021 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Following up an election promise of discounts at Swiss Chalet, Conservative leader Erin O’Toole is now wooing Mennonite voters by promising a really good deal at Chicken Chef yet once. “Oba jo!” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Rush to Stock Up on ‘Reimermectin’

September 10, 2021 Andrew

PEADDSSTAUL, MB A new “miracle drug” called Reimermectin is flying off the shelves in southern Manitoba this week after rumours spread that it can cure all that ails you. “I’m not sure what’s in there, […]

Unger & Thirst

Premier Goertzen Sworn in on a Stack of Perogies

August 31, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Manitoba’s first Russian Mennonite Premier Kelvin Goertzen, MLA for Steinbach, was sworn in a stack of perogies this afternoon. “I learned this technique from Brad Wall,” said Goertzen. “You simply can’t go wrong […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Finally Finds an IPA that’s Not Too Bitter for Him

August 24, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local man Garth Penner has been pressured by his buddies to drink something other than light lagers for years and has finally found an “IPA” suited to his tastes. “Got myself a Keith’s,” […]

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