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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Manitoba Hit with Worst Blizzard in Decades

April 13, 2022 Andrew

REINLAND, MB A Reinland man claims he was sick of paying “city people” prices for ice cream desserts and decided he was going to replicate a Blizzard treat all on his own. The results were […]

Unger & Thirst

Despite Renovations Steinbach Sobeys Will Always Be Penner Foods to Me: A Love Story

April 10, 2022 Andrew

I first met Penner Foods when I was a wee pants schieter, my legs kicking in the child seat of the cold medal grocery cart, my hands never as firmly gripped to the red handle as […]

Unger & Thirst

World’s Most Innovative Mennonite Woman Puts Sweet and Sour Sauce on Her Farmer Sausage

March 26, 2022 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Mrs. Ruth Berg has been awarded the ‘World’s Most Innovative Mennonite’ prize this week for her ingenious use of sweet and sour sauce on farmer sausage. “And instead of vereniki, I serve this […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Enters Guinness Book of Records for Rapid Meat Canning

March 20, 2022 Andrew

SMOKETOWN, PA Mrs. Sarah Glatfelter of Smoketown, Pennsylvania has entered the Guinness Book of Records after canning more than 100 cans of meat for MCC within just one hour. “I’ve never seen a Mennonite can […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman to Continue Wearing Mask in Liquor Store

March 15, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Even though provincial guidelines no longer require it, Mrs. Jessica Peters, 31, of Winnipeg plans to continue sporting her N95 at liquor stores across the province. “I’ve gotta be protected,” said Peters, ” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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