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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Hundreds of Horrified Mennonites Served ‘Pasta’ for Easter Sunday after Kitchen Mixup

April 17, 2022 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Hundreds of Groenings, Kliewers, and Olferts were looking forward to a delicious serving of lemony buns with sweet icing this Sunday afternoon. However, a mishap in the kitchen resulted in the serving […]

Unger & Thirst

Road Closures Cut Off Paska Supply

April 15, 2022 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Inclement spring weather has meant the closure of a number of highways that are essential to maintaining the flow of paska into the region. “Highway 75 is closed today, sealing Mennonites off from […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man to Open Massive Backyard Poultry Operation in Winnipeg

April 14, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Moments after the City of Winnipeg announced plans to allow for “backyard chickens,” Corny Wiebe bought quota for a 10,000-bird chicken operation, which he plans to open on his North Kildonan property. “Finally […]

Unger & Thirst

Manitoba Hit with Worst Blizzard in Decades

April 13, 2022 Andrew

REINLAND, MB A Reinland man claims he was sick of paying “city people” prices for ice cream desserts and decided he was going to replicate a Blizzard treat all on his own. The results were […]

Unger & Thirst

Despite Renovations Steinbach Sobeys Will Always Be Penner Foods to Me: A Love Story

April 10, 2022 Andrew

I first met Penner Foods when I was a wee pants schieter, my legs kicking in the child seat of the cold medal grocery cart, my hands never as firmly gripped to the red handle as […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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