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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Fe’schluckes On His Own Sausage

September 22, 2024 Andrew

REINLAND, MB Area man Doug Reimer, 68, wandered over to the church kitchen for a snack this week, only to completely fe’schlucke himself on his own sausage on his way back to the couch. “I’ve […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Spends 8 Hours Trying to Extract Stubborn Pickles at Top of Jar

September 9, 2024 Andrew

COALDALE, AB Area woman Diane Toews got up early this morning knowing she was going to need a bit of extra time to extract the pickles, but it was all for naught. “Faspa was over […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Tries to Pass Off Farmer Sausage as Kubasa

September 8, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Jake Reimer’s attempt at serving his guests “kubasa” this weekend utterly failed after he figured he could toss a clove of garlic in with the farmer sausage and fool everyone. “He thought a […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Hooked on Niakwa ‘Farmer’s Special’ Pizza

September 5, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB “Farmer sausage on pizza, yet!” proclaimed Joseph Kehler of Winnipeg the first time he discovered it 15 years ago. Since then, Kehler has been consuming the Niakwa Farmer’s Special every day, which has […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Gets Finger Trapped in Rolled-Up Slice of Faspa Ham

September 2, 2024 Andrew

FRIEDENSFELD, MB The annual Heppner gathering in Friedensfeld this week required emergency intervention after Aunt Tina got her finger caught in a rolled-up ham slice. “I’ve been warning people about those ham slices for decades,” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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