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Unger & Thirst

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Saves Millions by Pickling the Watermelon Rinds

July 3, 2024 Andrew

ROSETOWN, MB The Driedgers of Rosetown have found a lucrative new way to save a bit of money – pickling their watermelon rinds. “With the amount my Stanley eats each years, we could be talking […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Consume Record Numbers of Rapple Chaps During Stanley Cup Final

June 24, 2024 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Stores across the Canadian prairies are all out of rapple chaps this evening, as Mennonites stock up for the big game. “We’ve got everything you need for a Stanley Cup party,” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Steinbach Woman Calls Police About Long Line at Krispy Kreme

June 23, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area woman Mrs. Hiebert, 81, of Steinbach called in a police report this morning after she noticed a long time of vehicles stretching all the way from the new Kripsy Kreme in Winnipeg, […]

Unger & Thirst

Schmaunt Fat Confused for Waffle Sauce

June 20, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB It all turned out to be a happy accident, as a bucket of schmaunt fat was confused for waffle sauce, much to the delight of the dozens of eager waffle eaters lined up […]

Unger & Thirst

‘Wurst’ Turns Out to Be the ‘Best’

June 17, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB They’ve been making the wurst in southern Manitoba for decades and one wurst maker has finally created the best. “You won’t find a better wurst in all of Winkler,” said local butcher Mr. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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