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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

City of Winkler to Abandon the Metric System in Favour of Ice Cream Pail Method

July 4, 2016 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Beginning this fall, residents of Winkler will be forced to measure everything in the traditional Mennonite manner – the ice cream pail. In a 5-2 vote, Winkler city council decided to ban the […]

Unger & Thirst

Banquet-Goers Wowed By Yet Another Chicken Kiev Meal

July 3, 2016 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Long a staple of corporate banquets, graduation dinners, and wedding receptions, attendees at a Winnipeg retirement banquet on Monday were wowed by the impressive chicken Kiev dish they received. “When I looked down […]

Unger & Thirst

Drones to Deliver Cheese Curds to Area Residents

June 27, 2016 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB Significant advancements in drone technology over the past few years has enabled the unmanned aerial vehicles to be used in a wide variety of functions, from military applications to parcel delivery in large […]

Unger & Thirst

Anthony Bourdain Confirms Steinbach is ‘Worth the Trip’

June 26, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB In the season finale of his hit CNN series Parts Unknown, famed chef and author Anthony Bourdain visited the small Manitoba city of Steinbach and declared it to be “worth the trip, just like […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Leaves Record $0.10 Tip at Local Diner

June 13, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area waitresses were shocked to hear of the generous ten cent tip that fellow restaurant server Mary Penner received during her evening shift on Saturday. “In all my years of waitressing, I’ve never […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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