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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Steinbachers Mourn the Loss of Taco Bell

April 19, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB For almost 20 years Steinbachers have flocked to Taco Bell for a taste of home in Chihuahua. It seems, however, that the new KFC restaurant will not be serving these delicious Mexican treats. […]

Unger & Thirst

Pastor Shortens Sermon to Allow More Time to Eat Paska Buns

April 16, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Pastor Dave at East Winkler EBMC church decided to cut his Easter sermon short this morning in order to allow his eager parishioners more time to gorge themselves on delicious Mennonite paska buns. “I figured […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Arrested at Border for Possession of Poppyseed Cake

April 12, 2017 Andrew

EMERSON, MB Local woman, Mrs. Schultz, 81, of the Altona area was arrested on charges of narcotic smuggling after she left a Tupperware container of her famous poppyseed cake in the back seat of her […]

Unger & Thirst

Check Out These Wacky Mennonite Dishes Inspired by the Daily Bonnet

April 10, 2017 Andrew

Back in February, the Daily Bonnet posted an article entitled ‘Ten Epic Mennonite Dishes We Wish Were Real‘. We never imagined that these dishes could or would actually be created. Well, a few creative Daily Bonnet […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Rank Among the World’s Best Spitters

April 4, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mennonite people excel in many fields, not least of which is our unrivalled ability to spit. At a recent competition in Winkler, Mennonite horkers and spitters came out on top in nearly every […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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