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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Grandma Jailed for Adding Flavour to Food

December 1, 2017 Andrew

NEWTON, KS Mrs. Edna Loewen of Newton, Kansas was arrested and removed from the church roster on Sunday after it was reported her cooking now contained actual flavour. According to her furious grandchildren, Loewen added […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Hunter Bags Huge Sausage

November 21, 2017 Andrew

WHITESHELL, MB Avid hunter, Mr. Timothy Krahn, 36, of Kleefeld, managed to bag an enormous 800-pound farmer sausage in the Whiteshell this weekend. At 340 5/8 points, the farmer sausage is the highest-scoring sausage ever […]

Unger & Thirst

Generous Mennonite Couple Sends Used Tea Bags to Missionaries

November 20, 2017 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Local couple Peter and Sally Wiebe have amassed a collection of more than 20,000 used tea bags that they plan to send to needy missionaries around the world this holiday season. The […]

Unger & Thirst

Municipality Approves the Sale of Hash Brownies at Church Bake Sales

November 9, 2017 Andrew

SCHANZENSCHANTZ, MB The Rural Municipality of Schanzenschantz Manitoba voted last week to approve the sale of hashish brownies at church bake sales in the area. The vote came after the Province announced full control of […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Couple Smashes Dragon’s Den Record with Roll Kuchen Company

November 8, 2017 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Lillianne and Gerald Koop of Dalmeny, Saskatchewan shattered the record for largest deal ever on Dragon’s Den with their delicious roll kuchen recipe. The roll kuchen company started a bidding war, with Manjit […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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