The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Top Local Chefs to Stage Fancy Dinner on Frozen Blumenort Lagoon

January 19, 2018 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Manitoba’s most famous chefs will be setting aside the comforts of high-end Winnipeg restaurants this winter for a three week pop-up restaurant on the frozen Blumenort lagoon. ‘COOKED: Blumenort’ will feature all the […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman’s ‘Abstinence in a Pan’ Declared Worst Dessert at Church Bake Sale

January 14, 2018 Andrew

WICHITA, KS The Wichita Mennonite Church Bake Sale generated lower than expected revenue this week, due in part to the extreme unpopularity of Mrs. Deirdre Jansen’s ‘Abstinence in a Pan’ dessert. The dessert, a variation […]

Unger & Thirst

Tim Hortons Raises Starting Wage to 15 Timbits an Hour

January 13, 2018 Andrew

OAKVILLE, ON In response to widespread criticism of recent cuts to employee benefits in some of its stores, iconic Canadian donut chain Tim Hortons has graciously decided to raise its starting wage from 12 Timbits […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Moms Gather for Wine O’Clock…I Mean “Bible Study”

January 10, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB For nearly a decade, Mennonite moms in North Kildonan have been gathering every Tuesday afternoon at Diane’s house to laugh, chat, and drink overly sweet white wines. “It all started about ten years […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite CPAP Machine Provides Continuous Flow of Schmaunt Fat

January 10, 2018 Andrew

HERBERT, SK Cardiologists in the small town of Herbert, Saskatchewan are testing out a new CPAP machine that would provide Mennonites with a continuous flow of schmaunt fat while they sleep. Local man Dale Broesky […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 110 111 112 … 137 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Anti-Fracking Protestors Shut Down Schmaunt Fat Production
    September 17, 2018
  • Elder Board Acquits Mennonite Pastor of Bribing Mrs. Friesen
    February 7, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Super Excited that He Can Finally Attend Church in His Undies
    March 29, 2020
  • ‘Barbenreimer’ Craze Strikes Rural Saskatchewan
    July 23, 2023
  • Facebook Crashes; Millions of People Actually Get Shit Done
    March 13, 2019

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved