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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

How Many of These Common Mennonite Foods Have You Tried?

February 24, 2018 Andrew

How many of these Russian Mennonite treats, many of which we stole from the Ukrainians and Poles, have you consumed? (I’m not knowledgable enough about Swiss Mennonite food to make a list of 50. If […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Nearly Fe’schluckes Herself

February 22, 2018 Andrew

NEUHORST, SK Although Mrs. Friesen of Neuhorst has nearly fe’schlucked herself on numerous occasions in the past, a particularly side-splitting joke at a wedding reception this weekend almost meant her demise. Unfortunately for Mrs. Friesen […]

Unger & Thirst

New Canada Food Guide Makes Farmer Sausage its Own Food Group

February 20, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON In an effort to reshape the unhealthy eating patterns of Canadians, the new Canada Food Guide has made formavorscht it’s own food group and now recommends 6-10 servings per day. “A lot of […]

Unger & Thirst

Buns Discovered in Mennonite Grandma’s Freezer Carbon Date to 5 Million Years Old

February 3, 2018 Andrew

TABER, AB A bag full of frozen raisin buns discovered at the back of Grandma Wiebe’s freezer this past week were taken to a University of Alberta laboratory to undergo rigorous scientific testing including carbon […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman’s Salads Consist Mostly of Whipped Cream

January 27, 2018 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON First-time attendees at a recent church potluck were shocked to discover just what passes for salad in Mennonite country. The Bennett family of Toronto ventured out of the big city to visit relatives […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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