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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Whose Mennonite Mom Makes the Best Perogies?

May 13, 2018 Andrew

For centuries Mennonites have ferociously defended their own mother’s cooking, claiming her vereniki were soft, more delicate, more flavourful, or held together better than all the other Mennonite moms out there. Well, today, we’re going […]

Unger & Thirst

8 Easy Mennonite Recipes for Your Hockey Playoff Parties

May 5, 2018 Andrew

Oba, so you thought you’d have a nice evening alone with your hubby, but Henry has invited all the church men over to watch the Jats game yet. They’re doing a lot of yelling and […]

Unger & Thirst

Penner Family Celebrates Cousin Peter’s Graduation from the Kid’s Table

May 4, 2018 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB The Penner family of Kleefeld are proud to announce that Cousin Peter, who had, for many decades, been considered too immature to sit with the adults has been graduated to the adult table […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum

April 22, 2018 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Local grandma Mrs. Agnes Wiebe, 72, unleashed the harshest punishment known to Mennonites this week by making her misbehaving grandkids chew a piece of soap-flavoured Thrills gum for a full fifteen minutes. “I […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Celebrate 420 by Drinking Yerba on Parliament Hill

April 20, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Thousands of Mennonite ‘Yerbaheads,’ as they call themselves, set up their lawn chairs on the steps of the Canadian Parliament buildings today to celebrate 420. Mr. Johan Dueck came all the way from […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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