STEINBACH, MB After dozens of people have taken ill from E. coli-tainted romaine lettuce, Steinbach city council decided it was time to see how locals felt about this dangerous and addictive substance. “We’re gonna do […]
ROSENORT, MB After a stellar performance by Darren Loeppky in the EMC gymnasium this evening, one lucky member of the congregation is being awarded a million dollars, payable in farmer sausage over the next twenty […]
ZURICH, SWITZERLAND The International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry has decided they’ve given up on mercury and decided to replace element 80 with the dry Mennonite bread known has zwieback. “It’s one of the […]
REICHENBACH, MB Villagers in a small Mennonite town have been flocking to a new hip coffee shop called Oma’s Java Barn to get their hands on a cup of Oma’s delicious coffee substitute. “They can’t […]
WINKLER, MB Local man Dick Brandt underwent emergency dental surgery this week after cracking four molars and an incisor on Oma Brandt’s notorious rock hard päpanät. “Diewel, Oma’s päpanät are hard yet,” exclaimed Mr. Brandt, […]
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