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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Introducing the All New 2019 Toyota Platz

December 17, 2018 Andrew

NAGOYA, JAPAN Toyota has just announced the return of their popular Platz model. Originally only available in Japan in the early 2000s, Toyota has responded to the demands of North American Mennonites and unveiled an […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Deliberately Leaves Out Essential Ingredient in Recipe

December 13, 2018 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC Mrs. Brandt of Chilliwack has often been asked to share her delicious recipes with others, but, so far, not a single person has been able to replicate her dishes. “I don’t know what […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Couple Covered in Flour After Things Get Frisky in the Kitchen

December 6, 2018 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Mom and Dad had some explaining to do after the Dueck children found them in a state of disrobe and completely covered in flour when they were dropped off at home by grandma. […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Hires Connor Hellebuyck to Strain Her Potatoes

December 2, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Winnipeg Jets goaltender Connor Hellebuyck has been in high demand with local Mennonite women, who have been hiring him to strain their potatoes and other items for the past couple months. “He’s a […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Cooking to Be Rebranded as ‘Keto Diet’

November 27, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB In an effort to capitalize on the latest fad diet, the ladies at the local Mennonite church have decided to rebrand ‘The EMMC Ladies Cookbook’ as simply ‘Cooking Keto.’ The ladies decided to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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