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Daily Bonnet

Daily Bonnet

Beloved Mennonite Sex Educator to Be Honoured at Church this Sunday

July 3, 2023 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Renowned Mennonite sex educator Susanna Janzen, 91, will be honoured at the morning service this Sunday for her tireless dedication to keep Mennonites from finding out anything about sex until well after […]

Daily Bonnet

New Holland Owner Way Ahead on His Spring Seeding this Year

June 1, 2023 Andrew

RANDOLPH, MB While the rest of his buddies have just finished their spring seeding this year, area man and proud New Holland owner Dwayne Funk is, apparently, already bringing in his first harvest. “Oh, I […]

Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Frequents Thrift Store to Avoid Doing Laundry

May 29, 2023 Andrew

NEWTON, KS Local MCC volunteers have finally discovered why local woman, Erin Friesen, 44, of Newton, Kansas frequents their store 3 or 4 times a week. “Every time she’s got a load of laundry to […]

Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Fired from Volunteer Job that Doesn’t Pay Anything

May 27, 2023 Andrew

SCHANZHIMMEL, SK Area woman Ruth Kehler, 76, has been fired from her job that doesn’t pay anything for apparently talking too much when she should have been ripping up denim jeans. “If you’re going to […]

Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Fined by Airline for Trying Baggage Hack of Wearing All Her Clothes

May 25, 2023 Andrew

ST. CATHERINE’S, ON Mrs. Berg of St. Catherine’s, Ontario received a $606 fine after attempting to board her Air Canada flight to Kitchener this afternoon wearing all her clothes. “Got any bags to check?” said […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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