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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Wardrobe Malfunction Taints Mennonite Quartet Performance

February 5, 2017 Andrew

OMAHA, NB The Jansen Brothers are world-renowed for their smooth harmonies and beautiful renditions of such classics as ‘Church in the Wildwood’ and ‘I’ll Fly Away.’ However, for the congregation at East Omaha MBEM Church last […]

Unger Conviction

Man Arrested for Scalping Tickets to Megachurch Service

February 1, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A local man is in custody today after being caught selling fake tickets to a weekend worship service at Waters of Blessing, a Winnipeg megachurch known for its really epic music program. “The […]

Unger Conviction

Manitoba Pastor to Run His Church from Sunny Costa Rica

January 29, 2017 Andrew

SANTA TERESA, COSTA RICA Rev. Benjamin Penner, who was recently appointed pastor of the largest Mennonite church in Manitoba, says he plans to spend much of his time at his Costa Rican vacation home. “I’ll come back […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Pays Tithe in Chickens

January 26, 2017 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Local farmer Peter Funk showed up to church this past Sunday with a pick-up truck of plucked and processed chickens ready to be thrown in the offering plate. “I was a little behind on […]

Unger Conviction

Hymn 606 to Undergo Major Overhaul

January 25, 2017 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN After dozens of complaints that the same old Hymn 606 just wasn’t cutting it anymore, the Mennonite Church has decided to dramatically overhaul the lyrics and melody of the famous hymn. “People were just […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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