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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Woman Dies After Serving on One Too Many Church Committees

October 22, 2017 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Local woman Mrs. Dorothy Shenk, 71, passed away this week after being asked to serve on yet another church committee. Before her untimely death by committee, Mrs. Shenk was happily serving on the […]

Unger Conviction

Who is the ‘Mennonite Pope’?

October 18, 2017 Andrew

Of course, in theory Mennonites believe that all members have equal right and access to interpret scripture and lead the church, which is why we’ve traditionally left the selection of elders and pastors up to […]

Unger Conviction

The Seven Deadly Sins (for Mennonites)

October 11, 2017 Andrew

While many are familiar with the Catholic church’s list of seven deadly sins (sloth, gluttony, and so on), fewer people are aware of the Mennonite church’s list of sins. The list was compiled by Menno […]

Unger Conviction

Local Church Offers Pedicures During Foot Washing Service

October 8, 2017 Andrew

CALGARY, AB A large Calgary Mennonite church has decided to expand the procedure at this Sunday’s foot washing service to include free manis and pedis. The church elders made the decision to tweak the traditional […]

Unger Conviction

Distracted Texting Millennial Accidentally Walks Into Church

September 24, 2017 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC While most jurisdictions have enacted legislation to curb distracted driving, the problem of texting and walking still remains. The dangers of such a practice became all too real for area woman Alana Foster, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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