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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Church Worship Team Replaced With U2 Cover Band

July 5, 2017 Andrew

WICHITA, KS More than twenty years after they first allowed drums in church, the East Wichita Bible Church (formerly known as East Wichita Mennonite) has decided to replace their regular worship team with a local U2 cover band. […]

Unger Conviction

Calgary Church Threatens to Leave Town Unless Government Pays for Massive New Building

June 9, 2017 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Cowtown Brethren, a nominally-Mennonite Church located in downtown Calgary on the Bow River, is threatening to relocate the entire congregation to Quebec City unless the Alberta government ponies up the funds to build a massive […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Baptizes Hundreds of Total Strangers at Local Waterslide

June 7, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Reverend Jim, eager to increase his baptism numbers for the year, baptized more than five hundred people without their knowledge, during a church event at the local waterpark. “They zipped pass me and […]

Unger Conviction

Streaker Disrupts Mennonite Church Service

June 6, 2017 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, MB The service at East Blumenhof Brethren was rudely interrupted by a “basically naked” young woman who walked in the door claiming she was “visiting for the first time.” Within minutes of her arrival, the […]

Unger Conviction

Local Worship Band Accidentally Performs Hymn

June 4, 2017 Andrew

CALGARY, AB The audience at a Calgary megachurch was left in shock after the worship band performed  ‘Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing’ during the Sunday morning worship set. “I’m not sure how this old thing […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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