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Mennonite Deacon Arrested for Manspreading Across Entire Church Pew

August 24, 2017 Andrew

KIDRON, OH Mennonite deacon Delbert Nussbaum, 81, was taken into custody by Kidron Police this past Sunday after churchgoers complained that the elderly man had manspread across an entire pew during the morning’s service. “What […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Seeks to End Drinking or Driving

August 18, 2017 Andrew

BERLIN, OH The elder board at East Berlin Mennonite Church met this week to discuss the implementation of a few new rules regarding the operation of motor vehicles and/or the consumption of alcohol. The new […]

Unger Conviction

Top 5 Christian Standup Comedians

August 15, 2017 Andrew

Here at The Daily Bonnet, we sure love a good laugh. While many of you may be familiar with Mennonite standup comedians such as Leland Klassen and Matt Falk, there actually are a bunch of […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Brethren and General Conference Forced to Share Folklorama Pavilion

August 12, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Folklorama is an annual festival celebrating the harmonious multicultural mosaic of Manitoba. However, conflict erupted this year after organizers required Mennonite Brethrens and Mennonite Church Canada (formerly General Conference) members to share the […]

Unger Conviction

Winkler Church to Install Roundabout in Parking Lot

August 10, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The roundabout craze has taken the Pembina Valley by storm with city streets, local businesses and, now, even churches trying to cash in on the fad. Winkler Mennonite Bible Church plans to spend $3,000,000 […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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