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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Grandchildren Completely Baffled by Oma’s Gesangbuch

December 16, 2018 Andrew

LANDMARK, MB Oma was very excited to sing out of the old German Gesangbuch with all the grandkids at the Plett Christmas gathering this Sunday, but soon realized things weren’t going to go nearly as smoothly […]

Unger Conviction

Fight Breaks Out Between Winkler’s Top Two Fäasenjas 

December 14, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Two of Winkler’s most noted Fäasenjas broke out into a fist fight this Sunday at the Christmas service. They were right in the middle of “Lobt Gott Ihr Christen Allzugleich,” when Mr. Wiebe slugged […]

Unger Conviction

Local Pastor Preaches Hour-Long Sermon About Why ‘Die Hard’ is a Christmas Movie

December 7, 2018 Andrew

OMAHA, NE An associate pastor at East Omaha Mennonite was so desperate to connect with his congregation that he spent a full hour during the service this week pontificating on why the 1980s classic action […]

Unger Conviction

Local Heart Surgeon Locates Jesus

December 1, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A local surgeon has finally discovered the exact location of Jesus in the human heart. Just this past week, Dr. Penner opened up Mr. Klassen’s ticker and found Jesus. “Scientists have been trying […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Sits at End of Pew, Absolutely Refuses to Scooch Over

November 30, 2018 Andrew

NORTH KILDONAN, MB Mr. Ralph Ens of North Kildonan sat himself down at the end of the pew this past Sunday and was perfectly content to have each and every person climb over him to […]

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