HARRISONBURG, VA A nationwide Mennonite church shut down, now the longest in U.S. history, has Anabaptists scrambling to figure out “where the heck we’re going to worship on Sunday morning.” Most have decided to give […]
CALGARY, AB A new scientific analysis from the University of Southern Alberta has demonstrated that the vast majority of church cell groups consist of nothing more than endoplasmic reticulum. “We were hoping to find some […]
MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN As Mennonite men age, many of them experience a decreased ability to hold a hymnal upright during the service. Doctors in Mountain Lake say Hymnal Dysfunction affects one in three men over […]
MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN Brave Mrs. Allison Koop, 41, decided to toss away the paper candle-wax guard during tonight’s Christmas Eve service. Koop is widely regarded as the toughest woman in Mountain Lake for her ability […]
WITMARSUM, BRAZIL The EMMBC church of Witmarsum, Brazil is in celebration tonight after becoming the first Mennonite church ever to successfully make it through the complex four-part harmonies of ‘Der Friedensfürst‘ without a single screw […]
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