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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Winkler Megamart to Become One Massive Shed Church

December 21, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After making absolutely zero effort to enforce provincial health restrictions, a local megamart has decided to transform the store into “one of them shed churches I heard so much about.” “We ain’t got […]

Unger Conviction

New ‘Transformers’ Movie to Feature Mennonites Who Are One Way on Sunday and Totally Different the Rest of the Week

December 8, 2021 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Michael Bay is set to direct a brand new Transformers movie that features Mennonites who miraculously transform into pious and righteous individuals for just one hour every Sunday morning. “They can throw on […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonites Now Totally Spaced Out in Church

November 28, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB In a letter sent home to every member this week and a stirring plea from the pulpit this morning, Pastor Bob is encouraging his congregation to be “totally spaced out” in church. “The […]

Unger Conviction

Top 10 Most Amazing Mennonite Albums Found at the Local MCC Store

November 24, 2021 Andrew

The local MCC store always provides a treasure trove of hip and groovy Mennonite gospel gems. When you pop one of these on the turntable you’re in for a wild night. The album covers are […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Boy Takes Girl to Church on First Date

November 22, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Nervous Peter, 18, finally worked up the courage to ask out Melissa who sits three seats in front of him in Mr. Epp’s period 3 Math class at WC Miller Collegiate. To his […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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