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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Neighbourhood Church Has Staff of 30 Pastors for Some Reason

July 7, 2022 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC The local Waters of Thankful Fellowship church has an average weekly attendance of just over 200 people but has a pastoral staff of more than 30 full time positions for some reason. “Here […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Woman Labelled a “Feminist” for Not Trailing 10 Feet Behind Her Husband at All Times

July 5, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mrs. Sarah Warkentin, 33, of Winkler made headlines this week after she was spotted standing right beside her husband as the couple exited their Dodge Caravan and, according to sources, stayed beside him […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Supreme Court Rules Life Begins at Baptism

June 25, 2022 Andrew

ZURICH, SWITZERLAND The Mennonite Supreme Court in Zurich ruled 5-4 this weekend that “life begins at baptism around the age of 18 just before you get married.” “If you’re not a baptized member of the […]

Unger Conviction

The Daily Bonnet Asks: Can You Be Both Christian and Rich?

June 11, 2022 Andrew

It’s a slippery slope. First they said it was okay in the outside world. Then they said we should tolerate them. Now they’re trying to infiltrate our churches. That’s right. Rich people. Don’t get me […]

Unger Conviction

Area Church Declared “Apostate” for Not Being Big Enough Jerks

June 3, 2022 Andrew

GRUENHIMMELSCHANTZ, SK One local church has come under intense scrutiny, as of late, for being “insufficiently jerkish” for the rest of the churches in the area. “They’re apostates. We can no longer fellowship with folks […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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