Canada’s Top Doc Encourages Mennonites to Wear Masks During Meddachschlop


Canada’s top doctor is “strongly encouraging” Mennonites to wear medical-grade masks during meddachschlop, especially if you’re sharing a nap space with someone who isn’t a first or second cousin.

“If this is your first time meddachschloping together, you’ve got to make sure you’re protected,” said the top doc. “You can’t just catch a few Sunday afternoon z’s with just any old Abe or Martha … not without a mask at least.”

Canadian health officials suggest that meddachschloping couples should refrain from making any physical contact and should “shower in and out like you do at the hog barn.” Not everyone in the Mennonite community is happy with the new recommendations.

“How can I expect my meddachschlop partner to ply me with Oma’s dills when I’ve got my mouth covered?” wondered Mr. Klassen. “These masks make meddachschlop super awkward, let me tell you!”

Churches in Leamington and Aylmer have already begun handing out meddachschlop masks to take home after the service, but are reminding attendees that they need to wash or replace their masks before faspa.

Gambler Wins Big By Betting on Mennonite UFC Fighter
Last Chance to Work on Your Farmer's Tan this Weekend