Government Needs Your Help in Tracking Down Family of Asylum Seekers Who Crossed the Border Late Last Night


The federal government is seeking the public’s help in tracking down a family of undocumented migrants who are believed to have crossed the border into the country in the middle of the night. Authorities describe the suspects as “a working class family of three,” and, “foreign in appearance.”

“We believe they crossed through a remote part of the desert,” said one government official. “We’re asking the public to keep an eye out for them, so that these criminals can be brought to justice.”

While some people might think that a young blue collar couple and their baby are more-or-less harmless, the government is urging locals to keep their distance and call the police as soon as you see them.

“These foreigners need to brought to trial and returned to their home country,” said the government spokesperson. “I understand they may be facing some trouble in their own country – death, starvation, religious persecution – but we have rules and procedures that must be followed. You can’t just have people crossing any time they please.”

Authorities are confident the family will be caught. When caught the parents will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. The infant son’s fate is yet to be determined.

“The public is really scared of these people, and rightfully so. They’re a threat to our national security and need to be sent back home immediately.”

Oh, wait, sorry about that. This is old news. See Matthew 2 for further details. #jesuswasarefugee

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