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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Justin Bieber Buys Vacation Home in Elkhart, Indiana

September 3, 2016 Andrew

ELKHART, IN Mennonites throughout northern Indiana are excited to have a celebrity in their midst, as Canadian heartthrob and model citizen Justin Bieber has recently purchased a $30,000,000 mansion in Elkhart. The beachfront property on […]

Quizzes

How to Win at the Mennonite Game: A Comprehensive Guide

September 2, 2016 Andrew

The Mennonite Game is easy to play, but difficult to master. For years Mennonites have been playing the game, but after all this time, no winner has been determined for the simple reason that there […]

Unger Games

Michael Phelps Spotted at Local Gravel Pits

September 1, 2016 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Just weeks after breaking Olympic records, world champion swimmer Michael Phelps was seen leisure swimming at the gravel pits just outside Grunthal, Manitoba. “He had a bit more of a beer belly then I […]

Unger & Thirst

Pastor Declares Self-Service Corn Stand an ‘Evil Temptress’

August 31, 2016 Andrew

PEMBINA VALLEY, MB Every year in August the honesty and integrity of Mennonites throughout the Pembina Valley is put to the test as local farmers set up self-service corn stands at the end of their […]

The Daily Bonnet

Looming Postal Strike Causes Concern for Mennonites Trying to Communicate With Relatives

August 29, 2016 Andrew

With a Canada Post strike on the horizon, Canadian Mennonites are in a panic trying to figure just how on earth they’re going to communicate with their friends and relatives in distant locales. “I’ve heard some Mennonites have […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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