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Articles by Andrew

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Baptized a Third Time Just to Make Sure

July 15, 2016 Andrew

ALTONA, MB The term anabaptist, literally meaning “rebaptizer” is generally regarded as a misnomer in the 21st century since most members of the group are only ever baptized once as adults. However, a particularly pious […]

Unger Suspicion

‘Seinfeld’ Re-runs Totally Confuse Local Mennonite Man

July 14, 2016 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Neophyte television-watcher Abe R. Dyck of Kleefeld became completely disoriented this past week while binge-watching episodes of hit 90’s TV show ‘Seinfeld’ at his nephew’s home. “He’d never heard of the show before,” […]

Unger Conviction

Local Congregation Installs Gender Neutral Church Pews

July 12, 2016 Andrew

ROSENGART, MB A small town Mennonite church has become the first in the region to install gender neutral church pews. “Previously, men sat on one side and women on the other,” explained deacon Harry Wall, […]

Unger & Thirst

Curry Dish Confuses Attendees at Mennonite Potluck

July 11, 2016 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON It was just a regular Sunday after-church potluck for members of Leamington Gospel Mennonite Church. That is, until, Lydia Neufeld, 75, showed up with butter chicken. “I couldn’t figure out what on earth […]

Unger Conviction

Menno Simons to Be Canonized as a Saint by the Catholic Church

July 10, 2016 Andrew

VATICAN CITY Sixteenth century Anabaptist leader Menno Simons has reached all the necessary prerequisites for canonization and will officially be declared a Saint by Pope Francis in August. As an ecumenical move, the pontiff said […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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