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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Church Shuns Snowman For Being ‘Immodestly Dressed’

December 16, 2016 Andrew

PASTWA, MB A local snowman was shunned this week for setting a bad example for the young people of the congregation by dressing immodestly. “There he is out in the yard without any clothes on yet,” […]

Unger & Thirst

A Closet-Drinker’s Guide to the Mennonite Treasury Cookbook

December 15, 2016 Andrew

The Mennonite Treasury Cookbook is a veritable bounty of classic Mennonite recipes. However, until now Mennonites were left completely on their own when determining what beverage to closet-drink with their chosen dish. Thanks to extensive testing […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Mennonite Kama Sutra’ to Be Published This Spring

December 14, 2016 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Mennonite couples across North America are anticipating the publication of the Mennonite Kama Sutra this April, which is sure to add some spice to many a romantic relationship. “The book is the most […]

Unger Conviction

Parents Punish Misbehaving Children By Forcing Them To Attend Annual Saengerfest

December 14, 2016 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Area parents Pete and Carol Penner were so “completely fed-up” with the “bad attitudes” exhibited by their three young children during dinner time that they decided to inflict upon them the strictest punishment known […]

The Daily Bonnet

Friesen Woman to Become Froese

December 13, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Just as all the relatives expected, Alex Froese, 25, proposed to his girlfriend Samantha Friesen, 23, as soon as the snow fell this winter. The happy couple is planning a June wedding at which time […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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