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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

7 Rock Songs We Should Sing in Church

November 28, 2017 Andrew

So, I know the elders won’t be in favour of this, but if we’re not going to sing hymns, we should at least sing something better than the “Jesus is my boyfriend” lyrics found in […]

The Daily Bonnet

Schekjbenjel to Marry Malkmäakjskhe

November 27, 2017 Andrew

THALBACH, MEXICO Mr. Peter and Aganetha Krahn of Swift Current Colony, Mexico are pleased to announce the engagement of their 18-year-old Malkmäakjskhe Susan to local Schekjbenjel Harry Wall of nearby Manitoba Colony. The wedding is to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Rents Colour TV to Watch Grey Cup

November 26, 2017 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Mr. Peter W. Goossen of Linden, Alberta has decided to splurge on the rental of a huge 22 inch colour television to enjoy the Grey Cup this afternoon with his family. “We’re all […]

Unger Suspicion

Is Pope Francis a Closet Mennonite?

November 25, 2017 Andrew

VATICAN CITY There are rumbles among the Catholic faithful that their beloved pontiff may be espousing views more consistent with traditional Anabaptism than Roman Catholicism, and some are concerned the Pope may be leading the […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Appoints Man to Lead Women’s Ministry

November 24, 2017 Andrew

SCHRAKJLIJCH, MB The Nominating Committee at the Schrakjlijch Mennonite Church has appointed Mr. Henry Klassen as the new head of the Women’s Ministry. Mr. Klassen previously served as Head Usher for the past 20 years, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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