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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Sparse Crowd at Nickelback Concert, Mostly Just Mennonites

September 21, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB It seems that a few dozen Mennonites from rural Manitoba are the only people in the country who don’t realize how bad a band Nickelback really is. With thousands of tickets left for […]

Unger Suspicion

Newborn Begs to Go Back In After Seeing Dad’s Face

September 21, 2017 Andrew

GNADENSCHANTZ, SK At the tender age of just six-and-a-half minutes, young Jebediah Neufeld let out a blood-curdling scream and begged to go back in the womb after witnessing his father’s face for the first time. […]

Unger Conviction

Why the Church Lobby is Even Better than Tinder!

September 20, 2017 Andrew

BY: MISS SAMANTHA YODER The dating game is tough these days. A lot of my girlfriends have resorted to going online to find a suitable partner, but I maintain that you can never beat your […]

Unger Suspicion

Massive Concrete Wall Divides Kitchener and Waterloo

September 19, 2017 Andrew

KITCHENER-WATERLOO, ON Residents of Kitchener-Waterloo were shocked to discover a four-metre concrete wall dividing the twin cities when they woke up this morning. The ‘Kitchener-Waterloo Wall,’ which stretches for miles between the two cities and […]

Unger Suspicion

Hundreds of Illegal Migrants Cross Canadian Border on Segways

September 19, 2017 Andrew

CORNWALL, ON According to reliable reports, border towns across Canada have been facing a mass influx of Segway drivers in recent months. As a result, concerned citizens are calling on the Canadian Prime Minister to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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