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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Single Snowflake Causes Vancouver Schools to Shut Down for ‘Snow Day’

March 5, 2018 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC The discovery of a single solitary snowflake in the Vancouver suburb of Burnaby this Monday, forced schools across the region to shut down. The sighting was reported early Monday morning and immediately caused […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Church Bans ‘Roll Up the Rim’ as Gambling

March 5, 2018 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC The South Chilliwack Gospel Mennonite Church has banned members from rolling up the rim at Tim Hortons, as it violates the church’s strict teaching against games of chance. The church took the action […]

The Daily Bonnet

The Official Correct Spelling of Every Mennonite Surname

March 4, 2018 Andrew

We’ve looked at proper pronunciation before, but today we’re going to examine the proper spelling of common Russian Mennonite surnames. I know it’s hard to believe, but some of you are getting your own names […]

Unger & Thirst

Raw Farmer Sausage and Vinegar: A Daily Bonnet Recipe

March 3, 2018 Andrew

Whether planning a fancy wedding reception this summer or just a cocktail party at the lake house, you’re going to want to have hors d’oeuvres that leave an impression. Although it takes considerable time and […]

Unger Suspicion

Self-Loathing Winnipeggers Select ‘Ugh…Winnipeg Sucks’ as New City Slogan

March 2, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Winnipeggers have spoken. By a wide margin, locals voted to replace ‘One Great City’ and ‘The Heart of the Continent’ with ‘Ugh….Winnipeg sucks’ as the new city slogan. “Time and again, what we […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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