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Articles by Andrew

Unger Games

Toronto Riots After Discovering It’s Not the Centre of Canada

June 26, 2017 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Toronto City Council held an emergency meeting this past week after a large ‘Centre of Canada’ sign was erected on the highway near the small town of Landmark, Manitoba. “What on earth is this?” asked […]

Unger Suspicion

Richard Dawkins Comes Forward at Tent Revival Meeting

June 25, 2017 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Renowned atheist and best-selling author Richard Dawkins, who was in town yesterday to attend the wedding of a distant cousin, was seen entering a local big tent revival meeting, undoubtedly lured in by […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Sniper Sets Record for World’s Longest Deliberately-Missed Shot

June 24, 2017 Andrew

MOSUL, IRAQ A Mennonite sniper in Iraq deliberately missed his target more than two miles away, breaking the world record for the longest purposefully-missed sniper shot in military history. “I could have got him, but I just shot above […]

Unger & Thirst

Guy Fieri Quits Show After Discovering Mennonite Food

June 23, 2017 Andrew

LAS VEGAS, NV Frost-tipped Food Network star Guy Fieri has decided to quit his popular ‘Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives’ show after consuming a scrumptious meal in a Mennonite home this past weekend that, in his words, […]

The Daily Bonnet

10 Famous People You Didn’t Know Were Mennonite

June 22, 2017 Andrew

We all know the famous Mennonites like Olympian Cindy Klassen, Saskatchewan Premier Brad Wall, and Kleine Gemeinde founder Klaas Reimer, but after extensive research, the Daily Bonnet has compiled a list of Mennonite celebrities that […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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