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Articles by Andrew

Unger Games

Mathematicians Confounded as Hockey Player Successfully Gives 110%

March 12, 2018 Andrew

DAUPHIN, MB Mathematicians across the globe were shocked to discover a junior hockey player in Dauphin, Manitoba giving a full 110% during a game against Virden on Friday night. “I can’t believe it. Prior to […]

Unger & Thirst

A Modest Proposal for the Elimination of Faspa

March 11, 2018 Andrew

BY: JOHAN SIEMENS It is a melancholy object to walk the streets of Steinbach on a Sunday afternoon, to find church after church crowded with Mennonites of various denominations sitting at round tables and consuming […]

Unger & Thirst

Liquor Store Undergoes Expansion; Now the Largest Church in Town

March 10, 2018 Andrew

ALT-BERGFELD, MB After a massive expansion to the local liquor store, residents of a small Mennonite town are now admitting that it’s the “largest church in town.” “More people stop by to pick up a two-four of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Daily Bonnet Launches New Satire Site for the Hypersensitive and Easily Offended

March 9, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB For almost two years The Daily Bonnet has brought mildly biting satire into Mennonite homes across the globe. Now the creators of the Daily Bonnet have launched an all new website that features […]

Unger Suspicion

Documentary “The Shape of Water” Tells the Story of a Mennonite Woman and Her Husband Abe

March 8, 2018 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA The big winner at the Oscars this year was Guillermo del Toro’s documentary The Shape of Water, which tells the tale of a passionate romance between a Mennonite woman named Helen Elias and a […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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