ABBOTSFORD, BC Days after the 3-D printing of Mennonite recipes was legalized by the Supreme Court, Mr. Klassen of Abbotsford successfully printed every single recipe in the Mennonite Treasury Cookbook and promptly divorced his wife […]
ALTONA, MB The mystery of Bigfoot has finally been solved! After careful analysis of the footage, scientists at Pembina Valley University, have concluded that the big hairy beast seen traipsing through the back-40 last year […]
The body mass index is used to measure a person’s relative health based on their weight and height. Unfortunately, the traditional BMI does not work for Mennonites. Instead, Mennonite doctors recommend that you use the […]
MIAMI, FL The Discovery Channel’s annual ‘Shark Week’ usually features numerous fascinating documentaries about the underwater killing machines, full of exciting decapitations and mutilations that keep audiences on the edge of their seats. This year, […]
BERGTHAL, MB Conservative Mennonites across North America are interpreting tonight’s blood moon as a ‘clear sign from God’ that they no longer have to follow the ‘bullshit rules’ of the elders and can now live […]
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