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Articles by Andrew

Unger Conviction

Local Church Adds Cake-Baking to List of Holy Sacraments

June 6, 2018 Andrew

DENVER, CO A small church just outside of Denver, Colorado has voted overwhelmingly to add cake-baking to its list of holy sacraments. Starting this July, church members will be required to participate in baptism, communion, […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Baker Has Long List of People He Refuses to Bake Cakes For

June 5, 2018 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Thousands of people have flocked to local baker Jakob Stauffer’s bakery in Fresno and gazed into the window at his delectable creations. Although many have seen his cakes, not a single person has […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Keeps Fork, Dessert Doesn’t Come

June 5, 2018 Andrew

GOESSEL, KS Local man Peter Wiebe was left sitting there with a fork in his hand for a full hour before he realized dessert simply wasn’t on its way. “I even licked it off so […]

The Daily Bonnet

One-‘N’-Bergmans to Battle Two-‘N’-Bergmanns This Sunday Afternoon at Altona Park

June 4, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Bergman(n)s across Southern Manitoba will duke it out this Sunday at Altona Memorial Park. The competition, which consists mostly of feats of strength and Plautdietsch spelling, will decide once and for all how […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Excited for Latest Instalment in the ‘Harder Boys’ Series

June 3, 2018 Andrew

BLUE CREEK COLONY, BELIZE Mennonites are lining up outside bookstores throughout Belize in anticipation of the new Harder Boys adventure. The books, now numbering several hundred, features wholesome brothers Johnny and Abram Harder who solve […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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