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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Petition Calls for Entire State of Minnesota to Join Canada

January 7, 2019 Andrew

ST. PAUL, MN Already at more than 7,000 signatures, a binding online petition, will see the entire state of Minnesota join its neighbour to the north when it reaches the 10,000 signature threshold. “I’ve always […]

The Daily Bonnet

Cousin Aggie Caught Flipping Two Cards at a Time Instead of Three

January 6, 2019 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Cousin Aganetha has been barred from ever attending another Sunday afternoon Dutch Blitz match after it was discovered she had been flipping over just two cards at a time from the “Wood Pile” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Completely Predictable Mennonite Couple Places Garbage Can Under the Sink

January 5, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The first thing that newlyweds Andrew and Katie Unrau did when they moved into their new home in Winkler was put the garbage can under the sink “like it should be.” “There was […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Women Star in Hit New Series ‘The Real Housewives of Holmes County’

January 4, 2019 Andrew

HOLMES COUNTY, OH A hit new reality show has been streaming on television sets across the country this week. The show called ‘Real Housewives of Holmes County’ explores the outrageous wild lifestyles of Mrs. Weaver, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Buried Under Huge Pile of Coats on Master Bed

January 3, 2019 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Mr. Klassen had plopped himself down for a nice meddachschlop this Sunday afternoon, when a steady stream of unexpected guests piled into the Klassen residence. While Mrs. Klassen politely invited the Fehrs, Wiebes, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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