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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

New Vertical Money Confuses Mennonite Man

August 9, 2019 Andrew

NIVERVILLE, MB Mr. Wiens of Niverville has recently started a campaign to get the new ten dollar bills “put back the right way” after, for the life of him, he just couldn’t figure out how […]

Quizzes

The Ontario Mennonite Quiz!

August 8, 2019 Andrew

Ontario Mennonites. They exist. Let’s see how much you know about them! [wp_quiz id=”10406″]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Farmer Sausage Recipe Calls for 30 to 50 Feral Hogs

August 7, 2019 Andrew

A recently uncovered recipe for traditional Mennonite farmer sausage calls for “30 to 50 feral hogs.” The document, translated from Plautdietsch, and found jammed into a hymn book at the local Bergthaler church, is believed […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Walks Around All Day with Kale in Her Teeth

August 5, 2019 Andrew

NORTH KILDONAN, MB Susan Dueck, 43, of North Kildonan has been walking up and down Henderson Highway today doing her errands with a huge piece of kale in her teeth. The embarrassing piece of kale […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Hospitalized After Eating Too Far Into the Green Part

August 4, 2019 Andrew

MANITOBA COLONY, MEXICO Mr. Wiebe had to be rushed to the hospital in Cuauhtemoc this week after he failed to heed the warnings of all those around him and ate well into the green part. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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