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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Olive Garden Runs Out of Gift Cards During Pastor Appreciation Month

October 15, 2019 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Olive Garden locations across the continent have been running short on gift cards after every single pastor received $20 in Olive Garden money for Pastor Appreciation Month. “At first we weren’t sure […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Woman Confuses ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ for ‘The Daily Bonnet’

October 14, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local woman Mrs. Hildebrandt was very excited when she browsed the shelves of her local book store to find a book that was seemingly based on her favourite Mennonite satire website. “There was […]

The Daily Bonnet

Heated Political Discussion Leads to Brawl at Friesen Thanksgiving Gathering

October 13, 2019 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Uncle Henry, 71, had his own nephew Peter, 20, in a headlock this Sunday after Mrs. Friesen didn’t keep a tight enough rein on the political discussions around the dinner table. “I should […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Stunt Driver Performs Ten U-Turns in a Row

October 12, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A local man who calls himself “Steinbach’s most badass stunt driver,” performed more than a dozen successful U-turns on Main Street on Tuesday night in his Ford pick-up. “Doing U-turn is how I […]

Unger Suspicion

Desperate to Woo Trudeau Supporters, Maxime Bernier Renames New Party ‘The Peoplekind Party of Canada’

October 11, 2019 Andrew

GATINEAU, QC Eager to move up a bit in the polls, sixth-place Maxime Bernier has decided a little tweaking of his party name just might do the trick. “I can’t figure it out. For some […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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