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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Devours Entire Advent Calendar One Week In

December 9, 2019 Andrew

HILLSBORO, KS Mrs. Jost, 51, was sick and tired of this “one chocolate a day” rule and decided to open all the boxes still left in her annual advent calendar and wolf down all the […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Discovers Potato and Cheese in His Perogies!

December 7, 2019 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Local man Thomas Redekop, 54, was in for the surprise of his life after he cut into a delicious perogy only to discover the entire thing was filled with a mysterious substance that […]

Unger Games

American Man Claims to be Huge ‘Hackey’ Fan

December 6, 2019 Andrew

BOSTON, MA Local man Darren Smith, 45, is starting to really annoy his friends by talking about the Canadian sport of “ice hackey” all the time. “I’ve really gotten into hackey lately,” said Smith. “Man, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Claims to be Man to Get Cheaper Haircut

December 5, 2019 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Taunte Lina waltzed into her local Snips ‘n Go salon this past Tuesday for her weekly haircut, only this time things were a little different when she went to the till to pay. […]

Unger Suspicion

Kitchener, Ontario to be Renamed Berlin

December 4, 2019 Andrew

BERLIN, ON Eager to reclaim its past glory, the city of Kitchener, Ontario has decided to go back to calling itself Berlin. “The only reason we changed that name in the first place was to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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