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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Open Casting Call in Winkler for New ‘Planet of the Abes’ Movie

December 3, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Abes across the Pembina Valley will be flocking to the parking lot at the EMBCC church this weekend to have a chance to take part in the new ‘Planet of the Abes’ movie. […]

Quizzes

Mennonite Hymn or Hippie Anthem?

December 2, 2019 Andrew

So, here’s a challenging quiz for you! We’ve taken lyrics from the General Conference Mennonite hymnal of 1940 and we’ve also taken lyrics from the hippie era of the late 60s and early 70s. Your […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Mall Offering Free Stretcher Service for Shoppers During Holiday Season

December 1, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Beginning with Black Friday and ending on Christmas Eve, the Frosty Shores Mall in Winnipeg will be offering customers free gift wrapping, parking validation, and an escort out of the building on a […]

Unger & Thirst

Mysterious Jars in Cellar Turn Out to Contain Oma’s Delicious Green Bean Soup

November 30, 2019 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB The Penners of Blumenort were excited to discover a huge collection of Oma’s delicious Jreen Schaubel Sup in the cellar this past week. The green bean soup had apparently been in there since the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Yoder Shortage Leads to Unrest in Lancaster County

November 29, 2019 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA A late summer drought this year has led to a dramatic shortage of Yoders this harvest season and civil unrest in Lancaster County. “I don’t like to say anything negative, but those Yoders […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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