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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Men to Hold Bi-Weekly Schnettje-Konferenz on the Corner of Main and Reimer

December 14, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mr. Peters and Mr. Dueck have rolled down the windows of their rusty F-150s and are shooting the breeze and holding up traffic at the Main and Reimer intersection this week. “Oba, Harry, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Man With Obscure Mennonite Surname Feeling Totally Left Out

December 13, 2019 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Local man Henry Mierau is sick and tired of all the attention given to “mainstream” Mennos like the Reimers and Penners and is demanding that the Mieraus be given their space on […]

Unger Suspicion

Frasier Institute Petitions Government to Send More Tax Money to Kelsey Grammer

December 12, 2019 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC The venerable right-wing think tank ‘The Frasier Institute’ is sick and tired of all the government money that’s being wasted and would prefer if all those tax dollars went directly to Kelsey Grammer […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Enjoys Delicious Steaming Cup of Pripps

December 11, 2019 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Mrs. Thiessen sat down this afternoon, ground up some barley from the bin out back, and made herself a lovely cup of Pripps. “Ahh, just like my Oma used to make it,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Becomes First to Reach the Summit of Abe’s Hill

December 10, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local man Richard Loeppky, with the assistance of his schekjbenjel Pieta, planted a flag at the top of southern Manitoba’s highest peak, Abe’s Hill, this week. It was the first time the peak […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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