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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Frasier Institute Petitions Government to Send More Tax Money to Kelsey Grammer

December 12, 2019 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC The venerable right-wing think tank ‘The Frasier Institute’ is sick and tired of all the government money that’s being wasted and would prefer if all those tax dollars went directly to Kelsey Grammer […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Enjoys Delicious Steaming Cup of Pripps

December 11, 2019 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Mrs. Thiessen sat down this afternoon, ground up some barley from the bin out back, and made herself a lovely cup of Pripps. “Ahh, just like my Oma used to make it,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Becomes First to Reach the Summit of Abe’s Hill

December 10, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local man Richard Loeppky, with the assistance of his schekjbenjel Pieta, planted a flag at the top of southern Manitoba’s highest peak, Abe’s Hill, this week. It was the first time the peak […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Devours Entire Advent Calendar One Week In

December 9, 2019 Andrew

HILLSBORO, KS Mrs. Jost, 51, was sick and tired of this “one chocolate a day” rule and decided to open all the boxes still left in her annual advent calendar and wolf down all the […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Discovers Potato and Cheese in His Perogies!

December 7, 2019 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Local man Thomas Redekop, 54, was in for the surprise of his life after he cut into a delicious perogy only to discover the entire thing was filled with a mysterious substance that […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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